Later, On Tamale Day….

And so I go to the school to pick up my one daughter in a wheelchair, only to find myself standing next to my other daughter who has been sent to the principals office because she wrote, “You should go shit yourself” in another child’s eyeglass case. Apparently another charming little child “told” her to do this after he took the case from another girl’s desk. He got a very succinct finger wagging from me as he sat there in the office and I called him “naughty” right to his smug, nasty face and in front of everyone who happened to be in the office. He looked like he wanted to pop me one, and boy….I just DARE him. He’s in 4th grade and almost as tall as I. Of course, my kid’s not caucasian but this other charmer was black and I’m thinking “race card, race card.” Nobody better pull it. Besides, I don’t t h i n k so. I don’t care if the other brat involved was polka-dotted with horns sticking out of it’s head, as a mother type, I am not about to simply walk past this rugrat like nothing happened. Besides, my ‘lil darling’s written English is still so bad the likelihood of her getting the entire phrase “You should go shit yourself” grammatically correct is astronomically impossible. Thanks for the help, little man. Her version would have gone something like, “Go shit self” or some other caveman-esque variation on a theme. I believe her partner in crime is the same adorable classmate who keeps calling her attention by spouting, “Yo, bitch.” My daughter spent 7 years in a 3rd world orphanage and she’s an absolute train wreck, there’s no doubt about it. But we’re ON IT. We’ve got her in therapy, she’s on med’s, behavior modification is a way of life around here and it wears us the hell out! And she gets away with NOTHING. There are consequences for every misbehavior, and there’s no allowances for greed, disrespect or blatant disregard for the rules. No leeway. However - Huge rewards for good behavior, the life of a Kazakh Queen when she gets it right. But right there in school, little demon children whisper in her warped ears the things she’s not clever enuf to think up on her own. And she does them, because she doesn’t have an original thought in her empty little mind. Something as simple as dropping the “f” bomb in the lunch line, sure, she’s got that covered. Throwing paper wads in the bathroom? You bet. She could go semi-pro. My point being… well, I told the Principal with whom I have a great working relationship, that Geneva needs to be far far away from other naughty doers. She can’t stand up to them, she wants to please them. It’s pathetic. I told her right there in the Principals office, “We are not followers in this family. We are leaders. And we try to make good choices so we can have the best life possible.” I think she heard, “Boing, boing, bang, bip, doo-wah-ditty-wap-ditty-wap-doo”.
If only I had a dime
For every time
She’s heard Mommy’s
Diatribe.

I know for a fact that the Dominican Republic is full of little islands with lots of livable caves inside – I’ve been there, I’ve seen them. Betcha I could hide out there for quite some time, unfound by the masses.

I went to the yummy Mexican eatery all by myself today because I couldn’t find anyone who was free for lunch. I proudly walked in and said, “No one could come to lunch with me today, but I need a tamale, so I’m here anyway!” The staff smiled. Ahhh, the lure of the tamale. Say no more, say no more.

I am so glad I had my tamale today. I just kept thinking about it as I fought the urge to throttle Geneva right there in the front office of her elementary school. It got me thru. And I softly reminded myself, “Yo, beeotch, there are no tamale’s in prison, there are no tamale’s in prison”…….